Crazy Enough

I’m just back after watching an amazing show at the Underbelly. I had no idea what it was going to be like the title and the blurb were quite plain, “Storm Large – Crazy Enough” was the name of the show and the blurb was just the usual “5 stars, outstanding, energising show will rock your way of life”.

As most times the shows I do don’t finish till 22:30 I find it hard every year to see some of the late shows, which is a shame cause I am really quite filthy minded and enjoy like minded individuals, so the show is marked as quite inappropriate for everyone, regardless of age.

The venue is small (under 100 seats) and it is right under the bridge so you get the authentic cavern feel right away. The stage small and is only set up for a music gig but I still have no idea what the show is going to be like. So this huge amazonian woman comes out on stage and when the band are ready she opens her mouth and sings like a tormented angel, the song is harsh and sick but the way she carries herself is undeniably beautiful.

She then starts to explain about her life and the fact she was told from a young age that she would grow up to be just like her Mother, in an un-pc word “Crazy”. I start to tear up at this point as all I could think of is how tough that must be for a child to hear. We all want to grow up and be our own person it’s kind of the incentive of living, but it is hard enough to handle someone telling you chances are your going to go bald because of your genes, a million times worse to be told you will most likely see the inside of a padded cell and there nothing you can do about it.

She said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing day in & day out…and expects a different outcome. I finally realised that I’m a mad man just the same, I work day in, day out expecting my job to be just a bit different but in the end…the people are the same, the wages are the same and people don’t care how smart I am. Changing the way I work, the people around me etc doesn’t do anything need to change myself.

She then talks about her time as an addict, and she explains why she did it, “Heroine makes you feel small and invisible, safe, liked your tucked away in a pocket”. However, when you are performing you have to be big and visible and pretty much “Louder than God”. I’ve never been or ever known any drug users in my very sheltered life but I can understand completely on the positive aspects of feeling like your invisible and safe on a daily basis. I often think to myself you can’t lose if you don’t play, which is why I will never find the confidence to just talk to woman I like, tell her how I feel, as far as I’m concerned I’ve played and lost these games 50 times to many. In that instant I all I wanted to do was ask every girl in the room out, fuck it if husbands and boyfriends get pissed off about some fat guy trying to chat there woman up I just wanna get back in the game that second (a feeling I don’t have often).

However, their I was sitting in the dark wearing all black as I had just finished crewing for the evening but 15 minutes in she turns round in my direction and stares right at me with this amazingly sexy, troubled look as sweat literally pours off her, she keeps pawing at her skin tight, stretchy, little black dress, its a lot like sliding on a black condom. Relentlessly flashing her bra and pants to the whole audience while she screams in perfect pitch about the most horrifying parts of her life, I can’t help feeling like I’m in love. My legs are killing me from all the walking, my back aches from humping set everyday but right now as of this minute, I’m totally free (a feeling well worth £12).

At this point I finally realise that after 11 years I’ve finally cracked how to have a good time at the Fringe. Just do what feels right, don’t listen to the critics cause they aint listening to you. I went home feeling great like I could punch right through a brick wall; I floated home trying my best keep some of the songs in my head, anything to keep the feeling fresh.

People ask why I would go to the Fringe year in year out rather than go to Ibiza, Turkey etc where young people are “meant” to go cut loose and be free. I just smile quietly and remember that only in Scotland can you walk in to a dark, gloomy, dungeon and walk out feeling clean again.

Mr Bison (loves tall crazy chicks)

P.S The blurb was right the show did rock my world