I’m a huge fan of logic puzzles, like Sudoku or the ones where you get some information and you have to work out who lives in what house and who keeps snakes etc. Now I’m thinking of writing one of my own but with a Mr Bison twist.
I got the idea last week after this woman I know told me an interesting fact. I was explaining how in first year at Uni I was a member of the tattoo and body piercing society. The odd thing would be is that I don’t have any body modifications, but they were an accepting bunch.
While telling this story the woman responded by saying that she had a total of 5 piercings. Now using my Sherlock Holmes, CSI and Colombo skills I of course noticed that she only had one piercing in each ear…
Mr Bison
Saturday, 20 March 2010
Sunday, 14 March 2010
Grimm Tales
Once upon a time there was a big bad wolf, who wasn’t really a bad wolf. He just spent so long being perceived as big and bad that he couldn’t be anything else. But over the years he got used to the image so he began to act tough to keep his friends and associates happy. He kept a very big emotional distance between him and his wife, and never lavished the love and attention she deserved on her.
He didn't treat her bad or beat her, but he was much closed off when it came to there relationship. Over time she became board and wasn’t satisfied with the wolf she married, and she begins to look else ware for attention.
So one day the big bad wolf is down his local when all he sees are the wide grins of the people who once feared him. Unsure what the sniggering was about he proceeded to beat one of the patrons with a pool cue until someone came clean.
Turns out the 3 pig brothers (local home developers) had videotaped themselves spit roasting the wolfs wife in a sauna and the vid was now all round town.
The big bad wolf proceeded to drive straight over to the first brothers house to straighten him out. As luck would have it when he arrived at the straw house all the pigs were in attendance.
So the big bad wolf said "Come out, come out or I’ll blow your house down".
"Kiss ma hairy baws ya prick, your no eatin us" said the pigs. "If you could blow doon this house then maybe your misses wouldnae need a good porkin from us".
The big bad wolf knew this was true, he was to old to be blowing down things and the miscreant pigs did have a point perhaps his breath would be better spent telling his wife that he loved her and that she made him the happiest wolf in all the land.
But the pigs weren’t that smart, as the big bad wolf proceed to douse the straw house with petrol and then set it alight with the randy little pigs inside.
Morale of the story, don't be so distant to the ones you love as it may drive you to do unspeakable things...and don't video yourself shagging a wolfs wife.
Mr Bison
He didn't treat her bad or beat her, but he was much closed off when it came to there relationship. Over time she became board and wasn’t satisfied with the wolf she married, and she begins to look else ware for attention.
So one day the big bad wolf is down his local when all he sees are the wide grins of the people who once feared him. Unsure what the sniggering was about he proceeded to beat one of the patrons with a pool cue until someone came clean.
Turns out the 3 pig brothers (local home developers) had videotaped themselves spit roasting the wolfs wife in a sauna and the vid was now all round town.
The big bad wolf proceeded to drive straight over to the first brothers house to straighten him out. As luck would have it when he arrived at the straw house all the pigs were in attendance.
So the big bad wolf said "Come out, come out or I’ll blow your house down".
"Kiss ma hairy baws ya prick, your no eatin us" said the pigs. "If you could blow doon this house then maybe your misses wouldnae need a good porkin from us".
The big bad wolf knew this was true, he was to old to be blowing down things and the miscreant pigs did have a point perhaps his breath would be better spent telling his wife that he loved her and that she made him the happiest wolf in all the land.
But the pigs weren’t that smart, as the big bad wolf proceed to douse the straw house with petrol and then set it alight with the randy little pigs inside.
Morale of the story, don't be so distant to the ones you love as it may drive you to do unspeakable things...and don't video yourself shagging a wolfs wife.
Mr Bison
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